His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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