Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she peed on how many people?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
