Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
kristin has been a bad kristin
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Everyone says I win the strip club
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
