all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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