Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
