Already got asked if we're dating
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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