Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
