You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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