Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
