We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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