We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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