As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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