id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
