is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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