Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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