the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize