i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize