Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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