Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I smell stomach acid.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
