i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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