We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
