Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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