I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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