She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize