I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
