I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
