Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
