ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
