I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize