What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
