Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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