I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
