apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
