I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
