Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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