That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
