we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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