Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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