that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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