I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He passed out mid-signature
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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