Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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