hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
