I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
