is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
