I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
