normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
