She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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