I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
