My nipple is on Facebook.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
