just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
