She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
