So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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