Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
