the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ladies don't puke and tell
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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