I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
