I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
