I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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