You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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