Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
