so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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