she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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