So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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