You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
