also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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