who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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