It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
