The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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