hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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