i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
