the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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