So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
