I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
