I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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