I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
