YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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