good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my shit smells like andre
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
