We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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