I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
