I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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