I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize